Every morning before the sun has even had a chance to cheer me on, I stumble into my peaceful little “prayer room” and write in my journal. For over twenty five years one of my strategies for sustaining my sanity has been to express my feelings in a carefully chosen notebook. Over the years, this exercise has metamorphosed into more of a letter to the Lord. In these daily communications, I write the brutal of what I am feeling, the honest, the vulnerable, the absolute real, but I do not leave the letter without including the grateful.
Every few years, I dig out my old notebooks and look through what I have written in the past. I am often amazed at the raw emotions that pour out on paper during certain times in my life. I am even more in awe over the time-after-time gratitude that follows these expressions of hurt, anger, frustration, confusion, etc. Once in a while, the gratitude for the situation will show up while I am writing the letter. At other times, it is weeks or months later. Trials I thought were hopeless to fix, problems that seemed insurmountable, hurts that were never going to ease and yet… here among these pages were statement after statement of “Thank You, Lords” proclaiming answered prayer according to God’s infinite wisdom. It is powerful to remember the “how” I got through some of these “floods”. It is comfort and reassurance. Thank you, Lord
I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. Psalm 9:1
Therefore, in honor of “Notice November” here are a few word-for-word “Thank You” snippets from my journal entries for the last few weeks.
- Thank you, Lord for words to write when I approached my computer without any.
- Thank you, Lord, that I know I will get over this pity party once I share it with You.
- Thank you that your kindness leads to repentance. I am sorry.
- Thank you, Lord, for listening
- Thank you for friendly people who wait on me at the grocery store.
- Thank you Lord, for writing and work yesterday, for getting lots of “little things” off my plate and for gym time.
- Thank you for honest, real, touching talks with friends.
- Thank you for putting up with my whining some days.
- Thank you Lord for shopping time and connections with people around me.
- Thank you For hugs
- Thank you for the sweet tween trick or treating at my door who said, “I know you. You used to read to us.”
- Thank you, Lord, for helping me develop “quick forgiveness” from the offense of yesterday
- Thank you, Lord, for flu shots and “nice days”.
- Thank you, Lord, for good family and friends and hope and direction.
- Thank you, Lord, for encouragement.
- Thank you, Lord, for the small comforts, joys, and pleasures daily. Please help me to notice even when I am sad.
- Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and grace- for your forgiveness as I fail and put others above You over and over again.
- Thank you Lord as yesterday was a battle- fierce and exhausting- You blessed me with strength, grit, and comfort- that kind I know comes straight from You.
- Thank you for still loving me and for allowing me the utter openness to tell You how I feel.
- Thank you Lord for those good days and for the days that teach.
- Thank you for the hard and scary part of anticipating the doctor visit on Tuesday that leads me to put my trust in You (all okay)
- Thank you, Lord, for reminding me during drama days, “Not my circus, Not my monkeys.”
- Thank you for the hidden treasures of yesterday like the song in the waiting room.
- Thank you, Lord, especially for knowing You, for the many times You have delivered me- even from my own traps, for changing and growing me, for being my Savior and so much more.
Dear Reader, Thank you for letting me share a small portion of my journal letters with you. I find such healing in writing and I am grateful to share my thoughts and feelings with those of you on the other end of this blog. You are in my prayers and I have thanked the Lord for you many times. Have a fabulous week. In His love and mine