Marriage in a Murky Mirror- Study

The common marriage stumbling block that is rarely discussed.


I struggled with the addiction to attention for decades, feeling “less than” when my physical appearance did not measure up to the image in my head or compared to the other women standing in the mirror next to me. It would be easy to argue that because I was so young, I was easily lured from my marriage by male attention or because I had not been properly nurtured growing up, I was starving for affirmation. While these aspects certainly contributed, it is my opinion, that much in today’s culture leads many to have a hyper-focus on the way we look and how it attracts others. This attention obsession is everywhere. The need to be prettier, younger, skinnier has nothing to do with how God sees us.

Please read Proverbs 31:30. Fill in the blanks. Charm is _____________________ and beauty is _____________________, but a woman who fears (is in awe of) the Lord is to be _______________________.

Taking note of every time we get attention or comparing ourselves with others is a trap that has become common in our society (think Instagram and Facebook “likes” concerning our glamour selfies), However, the Bible describes a different way of acting in Galatians 5:26. What 3 things does this verse advice us not to do? ___________________________, _____________________________, and _________________________________

Chasing after worldly beauty is an exercise is futility and one that leads to much angst. One of my favorite scriptures as I grow older is 2 Corinthians 4:16. As believers, what is happening to us outwardly? ________________________________ What is happening inwardly? ________________________________ . Therefore, we should not lose _____________.

This seems just the opposite of what we are told daily on the television and in movie theaters, etc. God’s way is so different from the world’s way. For example, 1 Samuel 16:7 explains that people look at one thing? _______________________ and the Lord looks at another ______________________.

This does not mean that we should not take care of our bodies. We are exhorted to do just that. However, making it an idol- the focus of much of our time and attention and a distraction from our affection God- is a trap and not what the Lord wants for us. He wants us to experience true freedom and that also means from the bondage of craving attention.

Finally, I could do a whole additional study on how I felt for many years like the dirty little girl I described at the beginning of my blog. I have learned that this, too, is not what God wants for me or you. He wants to make us pure, whole, free, clean, whiter than snow. However, this cleansing cannot come from us. We, alone, cannot remove those stubborn soul stains.

1 John 1:9 states, “If we ___________________________ our _____________, He is faithful and righteous to ____________________________ our ______________ and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

There are many scriptures on cleansing in the Bible. If you can relate to that feeling of never-clean, please google “scriptures about cleansing”. It is eye-opening and awe-inspiring!

As always, thank you so much for joining me on this discovery adventure, as I seek and share my lessons through the roads of a zany life. I pray that some of the learning destinations may resonate and encourage you too.

4 comments on “Marriage in a Murky Mirror- Study”

  1. Wow Kristy! Your story and the scriptures you referred to are really hitting home. I have struggled with this my whole life as well. For a while now I have been trying to change my mentality and “catch” myself when I am negative about how I look or worried about what others think. As I am newly developing my relationship with the Lord and learning the Gospel, your blog helped me see this issue on a deeper, spiritual level. Thank you for sharing your story, your time and your writing talent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kari, Your comment touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing this today. It means much to me and you have been such a blessing to get to know! Love


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